musicalluna

Title: Brand New Reality
Fandom: Psych
Author: MusicalLuna
Rating: eT
Characters/Pairings: Gus, Juliet, Shawn
Genre: Angst, Tag
Warnings: SPOILERS for Ghosts. 3.01.
Complete: Yes
Summary: Shawn tells Gus about the conversation with his mom.
A/N: I've never written a tag before, so this is kind of weird for me. I don't think this is what acually is going to/could happen in the show, but I liked the idea of it and I think it's one way the characters might react. Plus it's angsty so, XD.
Disclaimer:  I don't own these characters and holy crap, sometimes I'm glad, because how kickass was that premiere?!

Gus knows something big has happened when Shawn calls him and says in a clipped, subdued voice, “Come pick me up at the station, okay?”

“Didn’t you drive your—” he starts, but Shawn cuts him off.

“Gus, just—pick me up, okay?”

Gus nods and says, “Yeah, okay Shawn. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He doesn’t know what’s going on, but it isn’t often that Shawn sounds like that and after whatever it was he’d done back at the office, Gus can’t let him down now.

~ * * * ~

When he arrives, Shawn is standing alone on the steps of the station, hands crammed deep in his pockets.

Frowning, Gus watches as Shawn moves forward, pulling open the door and slipping into the car. His face is twisted into an expression Gus hasn’t seen in a very long time. He looked shell-shocked and…lost.

Slamming the door shut behind him, Shawn props his elbow on the car window frame and jams his hand over his mouth, muttering, “Just drive.”

Gus puts his foot to the pedal and does just that.

For a long time the two of them drive in silence, Shawn unmoving, barely even breathing as far as Gus can tell. Whatever happened has been huge and he knows the best way to get Shawn to talk about whatever it was is to just let him work up to it.

Finally, it pays off.

Shawn leans forward, putting his forehead against the dash and says quietly, “It was my mom, Gus. I… She…”

“What was your mom?” Gus asks carefully, glancing over at him from the road.

“She left us.”

For a second, Shawn sounds so heartsick Gus’ breath feels like it’s been sucked out of his chest. He opens his mouth, bewilderedly, to ask what Shawn is talking about but he continues without prompting, almost as though Gus isn’t really even there.

“It…it wasn’t Dad. It was Mom, Gus. The job senior year. She left us and I…” His voice cuts off with a choked noise, punctuated by the thud of his fist against the dash.

Gus has no idea what to say. He’s known Shawn’s family practically his entire life, and it's never really quite jived with him, the idea of Henry abandoning his family, but this…this was not what he had expected either. It’s just so far outside the realm of what he and Shawn had even believed possible that he’s not sure where to even begin trying to wrap his head around it.

“He tried to fix it Gus,” Shawn says, and suddenly his voice lacks any kind of inflection, in the flat delivery that emerges when he shuts down emotionally in a last ditch attempt to distance himself. “He’s still trying to fix it.”

But this is not something that Shawn can separate himself from, that much is obvious from his reaction. It’s shaken the very foundations of his world and try as he might, things are never going to be the same again. “Shawn,” Gus says quietly, trying to convey everything he wants to say—how sorry he is and how much he wishes he could somehow fix what’s happened, his promise to be there through all of the awkwardness to come—in just that one word, because he knows nothing else he can say will be able to do it better.

Shawn’s shoulders tense and he lets out a slow, shuddering breath. “I don’t know what to do Gus,” he mutters. “I just…I don’t— I don’t know what to do.”

Gus knows how he feels.

~ * * * ~

An hour later they arrive at Shawn's apartment. Gus follows him up, worried by the subdued hunch of Shawn's shoulders, but out of the corner of his eye he glimpses his best friend's bike, sitting in it's usual parking space with a longing sort of pitch to it and suddenly he knows what has to be done.

“You're going on a road trip,” he blurts.

Shawn stops in his tracks at the top of the stairs and turns back slowly, his eyebrow arching in a dim shadow of his usual humor. “What?”

Gus nods and looks away, unable to look him in the eye because he looks so desperate to hear a solution and Gus can't believe he's the one suggesting this. “I just mean,” he starts again, “it's okay if you want to take off.” His gaze darts toward Shawn's face to gauge his reaction and finds him looking back at him with an expression that's a strange mixture of terror and hope. Shawn doesn't say anything so he plows on.

“Get out of town and clear your head. It's been awhile since you've been on the road. I'll take care of everything here, let everyone know you're taking a vacation. Just—go. Get out of here.”

Shawn's expression screams that this is what he wants to do, that he's teetering on the brink, but something is holding him back. The words come out stilted and unsure: “I might not—”

Gus intercepts him with simply, “I'll be here.”

It's the right thing to say.

Shawn holds out a fist and Gus shares a weighty look with him as he bumps it and then, violating at least ten of their man-codes, he pulls Shawn into a quick, rough hug. Shawn doesn't protest, but they pull away after a brief moment and Gus turns, heading back down the stairs. “You'd better call me, or send postcards, or something,” he threatens.

“You know I will,” Shawn says.

“Damn straight.”

At the bottom of the stairs he turns and glances back up at Shawn one last time. He already looks relieved, like some part of the burden has been lifted from his shoulders.

Gus doesn't know when he'll see Shawn again, but he knows this is for the best. For the first time, he knows Shawn has something he wants to come back to.

It's just a matter of time.