musicalluna

Title: 016 Questioning - One Hundred Reasons
Fandom: Psych
Author: MusicalLuna
Rating: T
Characters/Pairings: Shawn, Juliet, Lassiter/Polly
Genre: Humor
Warnings: None
Complete: Yes
Summary: One of my responses for my 100 themes collection revolving around Lassiter and Polly.
A/N: TEEHEE!
Disclaimer: I don't own Psych or it's characters.

Polly turned, her eyes widening when the door closed behind her, revealing a slightly younger man with spiky brown hair and a curiously arched eyebrow. “Who are you?” she asked.

He frowned, a hand moving to clutch at his heart. “I’m hurt! Lassie didn’t mention me? Oh, well. No matter. I am Shawn “Boom Shaka Laka” Spencer.”

“You’re Spencer?” Polly said, delighted.

His eyebrow cocked again. “So you have heard of me.”

Polly grinned, her hands moving to cover her mouth and she said, “Oh. You’re not nearly as…”

“Sexy as you thought?”

“No…”

“Clever?”

“No…”

“Devastatingly handsome?”

“Loony,” she said. “You’re not nearly as loony as I expected. I mean, you seem like a nice guy.”

Shawn smirked. “Lassie told you I was loony?”

Polly smiled and bit her lip to hide a grin. “He did make it sound like you were a mental patient. He’s specifically said that you’re a fraud. And a menace to society. And a lying pestilent charlatan.”

Shawn’s eyebrows rose, his lips pursing. “Good vocabulary.”

Polly grinned and moved forward, squeezing his arm warmly. “I knew I shouldn’t have listened to him—he’s a bit dramatic,” she said in a stage whisper. “You seem very sweet.”

A smile warmed Shawn’s features, his head cocking slightly as he regarded her. He shook it off and said, “That’s not why we’re here. You—sit.” He pointed at the table, assuming what was clearly supposed to be a “threatening” expression. Polly smiled and chose to play along, sitting at the table in the center of the interrogation room. She might as well entertain herself while she waited for Carlton.

Shawn began pacing deliberately back and forth on the other side, holding his elbow with one hand and stroking his chin thoughtfully with the other.

“Name?”

“Polly Anne Smith.” She smiled. He really was very cute.

“Occupation?”

“Kindergarten teacher.”

Shawn paused mid-stride, pivoting and saying with obvious interest, “Really?”

She smiled. “McKinley Elementary.”

“Lassie and a kindergarten teacher. Who’d a thunk it?” he marveled to himself. He moved over to the table, leaning towards her and said, “What about llamas?”

“Llamas?” she repeated politely.

“Yes. Do you like them?”

A smile pinched her cheeks. “Yes.”

“What about mint?” he demanded.

“Not really.”

His eyes turned thoughtfully to the ceiling, arms crossing and he said, “I hope you like snow globes. Because Lassie’s got some sort of weird obsession with them.”

Sheepishly, Polly admitted, “I hate them actually. They give me the creepies.”

For a split second she saw something light in his eyes and then just as quickly they narrowed at her and he said, “Are you a secret agent and/or ninja for the FBI, CIA, NIA, NHS, NCIS, ITS, SAG or Interpol?”

“I don’t believe so, no,” she replied honestly. The corner of Shawn’s mouth twitched.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Cerulean blue.”

“Ooh, nice choice. Been married?”

“No.”

Polly couldn’t help smiling. She wasn’t entirely sure what the aim of this little interrogation was, but she was starting to see why he drove Carlton insane. He was utterly unpredictable.

“I trust you like square-dancing? Lassie is a square-dancing champ, you know,” he said. Polly laughed out right at that. She had seen Carlton dance and the idea of him doing anything as utterly ridiculous as square-dancing was too much.

“I see you’ve been exposed to his dancing habits already…” he said casually and she tried to stifle further giggles with her hand. “What about kids? You want them?”

“Absolutely. At least two,” she said. This time she was sure she saw a faint smile pulling at Shawn’s mouth. It was then that the door opened and she smiled when Carlton’s partner slipped inside. “Juliet O’Hara, right?”

Juliet looked surprised for a second and then her expression hardened slightly again and she nodded curtly. “I am. What have you found out?” she asked Shawn, gaze unwavering.

“Doesn’t like mint, doesn’t like snow globes, never been married, wants kids, is not an uptight crazy bitch,” Shawn listed off, ticking the points off on his fingers. He grinned. “I like her.”

Polly bit back a smile. Oh, so that’s what this was about. They were protecting Carlton. How sweet.

“We’ll see about that,” Juliet said, and stepped closer, her arms crossed tightly over her chest and her gaze hard. “Just let this serve as a warning. You hurt my partner, and I’ll hurt you.”

Behind them the door banged open suddenly and Lassiter burst into the room. “What the hell is going on in here? Polly? O’Hara? SPENCER? What the hell—”

Polly smiled and got to her feet, moving around to Lassiter’s side and kissing his cheek lightly. “It’s okay Carlton, we were just getting acquainted. Your friends are very sweet.”

Lassiter’s eyes narrowed and he glared over her shoulder at both Shawn and Juliet, but she simply took him gently by the arm and steered him out of the room. “I was thinking we could go to dinner tonight…”

Shawn grinned at Juliet. “Oh yeah. She’s so it.”

Juliet grinned and squealed. “I KNOW!”